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Showing posts from December, 2018

Christmas Ramblings... Inclusion

It's christmas time and everyone is doing their best to make sure I feel welcome and included in this holiday that I have little to no investment in due to it primarily being a corporate cash grab and losing its roots.

Their efforts bring me back from the brink of full blown nihilism and despair, and I really do appreciate it a lot. There is a lot to appreciate during this time and the farther away from corporatism I get the clearer I can see that for the majority of people the spirit of christmas that i was brought up with is preserved.

In its most pure form, a global celebration of togetherness, and forgiveness. The forgiveness I struggle with, really struggle with, even for the closest of family members and it hurts to exist in such a state, but the feelings wont leave, and I am left as an observer over my fate watching and waiting for the doors of clarity to open and a solution to manifest. It's something that I do not have the time to dedicate time to because I'm wor…

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I've been running around trying to work on both my van and my day job, and i found that the lifestyle has been detrimental to my health, so I added Intermittent fasting and also physical activity into my routine.

I'm starting to get the picture that I have high ambition which isn't matched by low self motivation, like a battery that gets depleted, I have limits and not all things I set out to do fit within those limits, leading to reduction ratio of success to failure.

I tend to use up most of my battery during my day job, which is unfortunate, My present job however changes the equation, I have a 12 hour day, 4 day on 4 day off schedule, two weeks nights, two weeks days. which means I have four days to recover from transitioning from night to day, but also my transition from work to self. This reduces the difficulty of the transition, for me.

I've found that because I have a larger time frame to work with  i relax a bit, which helps me resume my …